"I'm just not that kind of person."Nov 14, 2021
I’m just not that kind of person.
This empowering sentence runs through my head anytime I encounter anything that I know immediately is not ‘me.’
I first heard the phrase from my friend Sara 20 years ago. We were talking about cleaning house in ‘zones.’ It was a fad of the moment. You set up your house into 5 zones and you clean 1 zone each weekday.. “I’m just not that kind of person” she said. I giggled at her confidence. I, on the other hand, was definitely considering giving the trend a try. My brain loves something NEW. If I’ve never tried it before, then maybe THIS new system will be just the thing I need to finally make the changes I have been meaning to make.
This new planner.
This new diet.
This new fitness tracker.
This new commitment to invite people over once a month so I’ll finally get all the little projects done around the house (because nothing motivates home improvement more than fresh eyes to witness it!}
So, I typed up my home zones and tested the new system.
Week one, I skipped 2 zones. Week two, I started the week with a fresh commitment, and cleaned zones 1 and 2 again on Monday and Tuesday and realized those zones were not in need of cleaning at all, but I never did clean zone 3 and 5 because I gave up on the plan by Wednesday.
Say it with me… “I’m just not that kind of person!”
I don’t do planners. I don’t do routines. I don’t do structure. I just don’t.
I used to beat myself up for being like this. I have thrown away at least 20 years of planners that made it to January 13th, were resuscitated in the Spring, then were forgotten about for the rest of the year.
I really thought there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t follow through on any plan I set my mind to. “You’re a quitter” my inner mean girl would say. “You need to work harder and stick to your commitments!”
But the truth is… no I don’t. There are SO many ways to live a life. There are SO many ways to clean a house. There’s no special prize at the end of life for the people who clean their houses in zones and there’s no big punishment for those who don’t!
The REAL goal, is for each of us to figure out ‘what kind of person am I?’ What do I know for sure I will do because it’s a match to how I’m wired.
I’m a totally free, wildly creative, highly sensitive, detail noticing, wonderer/wanderer. Success and fulfillment have much more to do with how much JOY I can experience in a day than whether my zones are all clean. I have passed on many opportunities just to sit and have a deep conversation. I’ll pretty much give anything up for a deep conversation! Ask anyone who knows me!
At this time in my life, I’m this kind of person:
Diet: I eat whatever I want – but only when I’m hungry and I stop when I’m full.
Exercise: I exercise almost every day and it’s usually walking or yoga because I love both.
Organization/planning: I make lists and use Google calendar
Mental Health/Spiritual Life: I meditate every day – in the AM – but not at the exact same time every day and I use a journal to observe my thinking
Housekeeping: I clean whatever I notice needs cleaning… and guess what? It all gets done.
Work: I show up for my clients and I’m on time and lookin fine!
Bonus: I actually wear my Invisalign (Commercial: it REALLY WORKS – and FAST!)
The voice in the head that is mean to us is tamed by first noticing HOW it talks to us.
Pretend that voice is a friend… listen to what it says and ask yourself if you would stay friends with someone who talked to you like that?
Now realize that you have options when it comes to what you think. “I’m just not that kind of person” is a powerful thought. It’s helped me to define myself to myself. It’s helped me to know what’s a yes for me and what’s a no.
So, what kind of person are you? Can you give yourself permission to BE exactly the kind of person you are and not try to fit into a system that isn’t quite YOU?
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